Tuesday, February 3, 2015

A field guide to fake dinosaurs

So, Indominus rex.

As you probably know by now, that is the name of the new dinosaur in Jurassic World.  The animal never existed in nature. It is instead the Frankenstein creation of the park's scientists, who spliced it together from snippets of DNA from other dinosaurs. From the description on the movie website:
At first glance, Indominus Rex most closely resembles a T. Rex. But its distinctive head ornamentation and ultra-bony osteoderms can be traced from Theropods known as Abelisaurs. Indominus' horns have been placed above the eye orbit through genetic material hybridized from Carnotaurus, Majungasaurus, Rugops and Giganotosaurus. Fearsome indeed.
The movie's producers have tried to keep the dinosaur's appearance a secret, but if you're curious, photos of I. rex have leaked online. Many dinosaur fans are not impressed. My favorite reaction so far has been the #buildabetterfaketheropod thread on Twitter, where people have posted drawings of their attempts to build the most ridiculous dinosaur possible.

Still, Jurassic World isn't the first work of fiction to invent its own dinosaurs. There actually is quite a long history of make-believe dinosaurs in cinema and literature. Dinosaurs are cool. Dinosaurs were big. But for some people they were never quite cool or big enough.

Below are all the examples of fake dinosaurs I can recall encountering in film and fiction. I don't include inaccurate depictions of real dinosaurs, like the oversized Velociraptors in the original Jurassic Park. I'm also leaving out the many examples of fictional dinosaurs that have evolved human-like intelligence – that is a topic for a future post. That said, if it was big, scaly or feathered, and never existed, then it made the list.

Rhedosaurus - The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms

The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms is a very loose adaptation of Ray Bradbury's short story “The Fog Horn.” It is notable in that it established the career of stop-motion animator Ray Harryhausen. The “Rhedosaurus” created for the film stands 65 feet tall, walks on four legs, and is aquatic. The problem is all carnivorous dinosaurs walked on two legs and lived on land – well, at least we thought, until new fossils of Spinosaurus were recently discovered.

Godzilla – 30 films and counting


Godzilla (or Gojira) undoubtedly is the most famous fake dinosaur of all time. Well, maybe. His origin story has changed over the years. In his original appearance, he was a dinosaur mutated by radioactive fallout. We even got to see what Godzilla looked like pre-nuking in the 1991 film Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah. The Godzilla series is filled with many fake prehistoric monsters, from the pterodactyl-like Rodan to Anguirus, who is basically a spiky Ankylosaurus. And, of course, Godzilla led to the British rip-off Gorgo.

Gorosaurus – King Kong Escapes and Destroy All Monsters

”Who?” you ask. Gorosaurus is a minor monster in the Godzilla pantheon, making its debut in Japan's attempt at a King Kong movie: King Kong Escapes. But I think Gorosaurus is notable for the fact it is a pretty traditional dinosaur. The creature is basically an oversized Allosaurus with no superpowers, which is unusual for Japan's giant monsters. Even King Kong, a monster that originally didn't have any powers, was given the ability to harness lightning when he was recruited to fight Godzilla.

Tyrannosaurus trionyches – "A Gun for Dinosaur"

The incomplete fossil record has given writers the opportunity to fill in the gaps with dinosaurs they believe could have existed. In L. Sprague de Camp's short story “A Gun for Dinosaur,” the main characters accidentally awaken a species of tyrannosaur even bigger than T. rex.

Whatever this is – "Hunters in the Forest"

The main character in Robert Silverberg's short story “Hunters in the Forest” encounters a strange-looking and unnamed theropod in the Late Cretaceous:
It is a towering bipedal creature with powerful thighs and small dangling forearms of the familiar Tyrannosaurus, but this one has an enormous bony crest like a warrior's helmet rising from its skull, with five diabolical horns radiating outward behind it and two horrendous incisors as long as tusks jutting from its cavernous mouth, and its huge lashing tail is equipped with a set of great spikes at the tip.
All the monsters from At the Earth's Core

The novel At the Earth's Core had a pretty standard set of dinosaurs populating its prehistoric world. But the monster makers of the 1976 movie adaptation either never saw any dinosaur illustrations or were high on drugs when they designed the trippy creatures of this film. We get a Godzilla rip-off with a parrot's beak, two bipedal warthogs, a fire-breathing toad monster, and other strange critters.

The New Dinosaurs

The New Dinosaurs is a coffee table book by paleontologist Dougal Dixon that explored an alternate history where dinosaurs never died out. Instead, the animals evolved to fill modern ecological niches, so there are saber-toothed theropods, giraffe-like pterosaurs, armadillo-like sauropods, and so on.

Stratoraptor velox – Dinosaur Summer

Stratoraptor is the feathered, T.rex-sized antagonist of Greg Bear's Dinosaur Summer. The creature lives in the “lost world” originally invented by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. In Bear's story, Stratoraptor evolved from earlier dinosaurs like Archaeopteryx. It is not the only invented dinosaur in the novel, as the author also populates his lost world with allosaur descendents and a species of herbivore that lives in ant-like colonies.

Hide-a-saurus – Cavewoman

Comic book artist Budd Root invented many fictional dinosaurs to inhabit the Cretaceous world of Cavewoman. Most were carnivorous, but the one that always stuck out in my mind was a duckbill dinosaur the heroine dubbed “Hide-a-saurus.” It had evolved to camouflage itself in tall grass. The problem? Grass didn't become a huge part of the landscape until well after the dinosaurs died out.

Post-impact Antarctic dinosaurs – Evolution

Evolution by Stephen Baxter mostly is the story of human evolution, but he takes a few detours along the way. In one chapter, Baxter speculates that dinosaurs isolated on Antarctica survived the great extinction that killed the rest of their kind 65 million years ago. Among the survivors are the descendants of Velociraptors and Muttaburrasaurs, which have evolved to live in the harsh climate. Unfortunately their adaptations are not enough to save them from the final great freezing of the continent roughly 10 million years ago.

Dinocroc – Dinocroc and Dinocroc vs. Supergator

Okay, I admit I've never seen either movie. Just never got around to it. What's worrisome is the description reads eerily like the plot of Jurassic World, with its gene-spliced dinosaur. From Wikipedia:
A prehistoric dinosaur, known as the Suchomimus, is genetically engineered by the GERECO Corporation, headed by Paula Kennedy (Joanna PacuƂa). After being spliced with a modern day crocodile, the creature escapes the lab and begins terrorizing the lake-side residents of a nearby town.
Baboon lizards - A Sound of Thunder

A Sound of Thunder is the deservedly forgotten 2005 film adaptation of the Ray Bradbury short story of the same name. In the movie, the characters accidentally change the prehistoric past, which results in "time ripples" that gradually replace future Chicago with a reality where the dinosaurs never died out. The film doesn't do much with the premise: Really the only animals we see are some oversized bats, a large eel, and a pack of "baboon lizards" that are a cross between baboons and dinosaurs. The special effects are pretty awful, although not quite as terrible as Ben Kingsley's hair in the movie.

Vastatosaurus rex – King Kong (2005)

V. rex is a T. rex descendant living in the forests of Skull Island in the 2005 King Kong remake. It has evolved to resemble something out of a Charles R. Knight painting, with three fingers instead of two and a much larger body size than its famous ancestor. V. rex isn't alone: Pretty much all the dinosaurs living on Skull Island are fictional, having evolved from creatures we find in the fossil record. The movie tie-in The World of Kong: A Natural History of Skull Island provides a glimpse of the island's strange ecosystem.

Tree creeper – Primeval

The British TV show Primeval introduced viewers to a large number of real and fictional animals. Many of the latter came from a far future where humans were extinct, but the show’s writers invented at least one species of fake dinosaur. “Tree creepers” were basically Jurassic Park’s raptors crossbred with monkeys. They lived in the Cretaceous and used prehensile tails for grabbing unsuspecting prey.

Acceraptor – Terra Nova

The short-lived TV series Terra Nova invented a handful of fake dinosaurs with the explanation being that since the fossil record is incomplete, there were probably species that we know nothing about. The most memorable were the Acceraptors, or “slashers,” which were like Velociraptors but had crests and whip tails with blades at the end. They were a scary creation, but not one compelling enough to save the series from cancellation.

Saturday, January 31, 2015

The Great Zoo of China by Matthew Reilly (2014)

Cover blurb

In the blockbuster and bestselling tradition of Jurassic Park comes the breakneck new adventure from the New York Times and #1 internationally bestselling author Matthew Reilly whose imaginative, cinematic thrillers “make you feel like a kid again; [they’re] a blast” (Booklist).

It is a secret the Chinese government has been keeping for forty years. They have proven the existence of dragons—a landmark discovery no one could ever believe is real, and a scientific revelation that will amaze the world. Now the Chinese are ready to unveil their astonishing findings within the greatest zoo ever constructed.

A small group of VIPs and journalists has been brought to the zoo deep within China to see these fabulous creatures for the first time. Among them is Dr. Cassandra Jane “CJ” Cameron, a writer for National Geographic and an expert on reptiles. The visitors are assured by their Chinese hosts that they will be struck with wonder at these beasts, that the dragons are perfectly safe, and that nothing can go wrong.

Of course it can’t…

My thoughts

I debated whether I should review The Great Zoo of China on this blog. Of all the titles here, it comes closest to violating my policy of only focusing on fiction about dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. The monsters of the novel are dragons, although ones supposedly rooted in science (more on that in a bit). I decided to go ahead and review the book for two reasons. First, it is now out in bookstores, and it is nice for a change to review a current title instead of one that is decades old. Second, after reading it, I felt guilty that I may have directed readers to this literary horror through a recent news item. While not the worst book I've reviewed on Prehistoric Pulp, it comes damn close.

The Great Zoo of China is Jurassic Park, except the setting has shifted to China and the dinosaurs are replaced by dragons. The Chinese are ready to open a secret zoo they have spent years building, so to announce it to the world, they fly in several journalists and some U.S. dignitaries. Among them is CJ Cameron, a herpetologist who walked away from her profession after an alligator attack left one side of her face horribly scarred. She is accompanied by her brother Hamish, a photojournalist/former Marine/party dude. Needless to say, the visitors are shocked to find that instead of pandas and tigers, the enormous zoo houses dragons. There are no cages or fences. The Chinese instead rely on sonic technology to keep the dragons from eating guests. Of course, the dragons find a way around the safeguards, but they turn out much less of a threat than the Chinese government, which doesn't want the story of the zoo's failure leaking to the outside world.

In Q&A at the end of the book, Reilly says Jurassic Park is the novel that inspired him to become a writer. The Great Zoo of China is something of a homage to Michael Crichton's famous work. Crichton was never a good writer, but he was a good storyteller. Reilly is neither. He shows no skill for building suspense or delivering logical, exciting action. Remember the famous scene in Jurassic Park where the T. rex attacks the visitors in the Jeeps?  Part of what made that scene so great in both the book and the movie was the way it built up tension before the attack, putting the audience on edge before the T. rex shows up. There is a similar scene in The Great Zoo of China involving a cable car, except when the attack comes, it comes with no warning or hint that something bad is about to go down. Reilly is in such a rush to get to the action that he glossed over the most crucial part of good storytelling: Setting tone.

Sadly, Reilly is no better at delivering action. Most of the narrative is delivered in short, one-sentence paragraphs with a liberal use of exclamation marks. The writing jumps around so much it is hard to follow, with certain characters disappearing and only re-appearing when they're needed in the plot. And the action is so absurd and over-the-top I began to wonder if The Great Zoo of China was set in an alternate universe with a different set of physics than our own. In one scene, the heroine dispatches two Chinese soldiers with a makeshift flamethrower created using a small can of hairspray and a lighter. The fire causes the grenades the soldiers are carrying to instantly explode, which somehow manages not to hurt the heroine even though she is close enough to set them alight using hairspray (It must have contained napalm as an ingredient, given its effect). The book is filled with such ridiculousness – I lost count of the number of times I rolled my eyes while reading.

Now let's talk dragons, which are the main reason most people will pick up this book. Reilly alleges his dragons are grounded in science, but that is about as true a statement as if J.K. Rowling claimed the magic in Harry Potter was grounded in quantum mechanics. The Chinese tell their visitors that dragons are actually dinosaurs that survived the mass extinction 65 million years ago. However, the heroine quickly deduces this is a half-truth to sell the idea of living dragons to a scientifically illiterate public. Dragons are actually a type of archosaur, a group of reptiles that include dinosaurs, although Reilly claims the designation is used to explain away any animals whose origins are uncertain. (Paleontologists may take issue with that.) Dragons lived and evolved alongside the dinosaurs but survived the extinction thanks to eggs that can hibernate for millions of years. Okay...

The scientific problems keep mounting. Reilly never says why his dragons have six limbs - two wings and four legs - when all vertebrae life on Earth is based on a four-limb body plan. (Even the silly 2004 British psuedo-documentary The Last Dragon – A Fantasy Made Real, which explored dragon evolution, provided an explanation for six limbs.) He throws in some hand waiving about hollow bones to explain why dragons can fly, even through the largest reach 200 feet in length and weigh several tons. And, in what is perhaps his worst sin, Reilly populates his zoo with different species of dragons, but the only difference between them is their skin colors. A more imaginative writer would have dreamed up different varieties of dragons to fill different ecological niches. Hell, the color-coded dragons of Dungeons & Dragons show more evolutionary adaptation than the ones in Reilly's book.

This review is among the longest I have written for this site, primarily because I can't recall the last time I've been so disappointed in a book. Jurassic Park remains one of my most-beloved novels, and while I didn't expect The Great Zoo of China to reach the same classic status, I did expect a small measure of literary competence. Here is a mainstream novel containing the worst traits of badly written fan fiction. Just how bad? I'm not a supporter of book burnings, but reading The Great Zoo of China is closest I've come to reconsidering that position.

Trivia
  • Matthew Reilly is an Australian author who has penned several thrillers. His website is matthewreilly.com.
Reviews

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Dinosaurs!, edited by Jack Dann and Gardner Dozois (1990)

Cover blurb

They are the supreme lords of a wild and forgotten world. Stalking the ancient forests, crushing trees underfoot, and shaking the very earth itself, the mighty “thunder lizards” ruled our planet for thousands of years — then plunged into extinction.

The age of giant reptiles is long gone. But in mankind’s darkest dreams – beyond the boundaries of time and space – they live forever…

DINOSAURS!

My thoughts

No point beating around the bush: Dinosaurs! is the best collection of dinosaur-themed short stories ever put together.

That may sound like faint praise given the very small number of dinosaur fiction anthologies in existence, but Dann and Dozois did a fantastic job combing through decades of science fiction literature to find some real gems. And while not every story is a classic, they are all fun to read.

Standouts include L. Sprague de Camp's dinosaur hunting tale “A Gun for Dinosaur”; “Poor Little Warrior” by Brian Aldiss; “The Last Thunder Horse West of the Mississippi” by Sharon Farber; and “Time's Arrow” by Arthur C. Clarke. I was a bit surprised Ray Bradbury's “A Sound of Thunder” wasn't in the collection, but maybe the editors felt de Camp's tale was too close in theme.

The only downside is many of the stories in Dinosaurs! were republished in other dinosaur anthologies, so readers of paleofiction may have encountered them before. But if a majority of the fiction is new to you, I highly suggest picking up this book.

Stories
  • "A Gun For Dinosaur" by L. Sprague de Camp
  • "Poor Little Warrior" by Brian W. Aldiss
  • "Green Brother" by Howard Waldrop
  • "Hunting Season" by Harry Turtledove
  • "Getting Away" by Steven Utley
  • "The Runners" by Bob Buckley
  • "The Last Thunder Horse West of the Mississippi" by Sharon N. Farber
  • "Strata" by Edward Bryant
  • "Time's Arrow" by Arthur C. Clarke
  • "A Change in the Weather" by Jack Dann and Gardner Dozois
  • "The Night-Blooming Saurian" by James Tiptree
  • "Dinosaur" by Steve Rasnic Tem
  • "Dinosaurs" by Geoffrey A. Landis
  • "Dinosaur on a Bicycle" by Tim Sullivan
Trivia
  • Both books were part of a series of science fiction and fantasy anthologies edited by Dann and Dozois and published regularly over 25 years, starting in the early 1980s. Each anthology explored a different animal or theme, so you had volumes collecting stories about cats, dragons, mermaids, time travel, etc. All the anthologies are now available through Baen's website.
Reviews
  • None

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Dino Island by Jim Lawson (1993)

Summary

October 1942. Pilot Amelia not-Earhart is attempting to break the record for fastest flight across the Atlantic Ocean when her P-51 Mustang takes an unexpected detour. After passing through a strange atmospheric anomaly, Amelia lands on an uncharted island inhabited by living dinosaurs. She quickly befriends a surprisingly docile Triceratops, encounters a small colony of other castaways, and finds a gigantic alien structure that may explain the island’s existence as well as provide a way home.

My thoughts

Dino Island is a two-issue comic book miniseries published to cash in on the interest in dinosaurs generated by the release of the first Jurassic Park film, which came out the same year. Writer and artist Jim Lawson is best known for his work on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He is also something of a dinosaur nut, having self-published the wonderful dinosaur comic Paleo: Tales of the Late Cretaceous.

Dino Island isn’t as good as Paleo, in part because the dinosaurs take a back seat to a rather mediocre story about the origins of the island. Two issues were too short for the tale that Lawson wanted to tell. He introduces plot elements that go nowhere and there is no real logic in why anything happens over the course of the story – one moment doesn’t connect to the next. The series also concludes with a downer ending, which is surprising given its light-hearted subject matter.

The art is the bright spot. Lawson draws in a cartoony style that might put some people off, particularly when it comes to his human characters. That said, I found it rather pleasant to look at. I especially liked Lawson’s use vibrant colors, which was a nice change of pace from the black-and-white Paleo.

Dino Island ultimately is a comic that looks better than it reads. If Lawson had chosen a simpler plot and focused more on the dinosaurs, then I think he would have had a winner. Instead we’re left with a comic whose sole claim to fame is as a relic of the dinosaur craze that accompanied Jurassic Park.

Trivia
  • The covers of the two issues form a single continuous image when laid side-by-side.
  • Lawson’s superior comic Paleo can now be read online for free.
Reviews
  • None